tonight my bird died
i believe it was my self-involvement that killed her
waking up to find her forever sleeping
my jealousy may have been echoed in auras
we are all supposed to get better
feel better and choose to control the feeling
catholics, workaholics and drinkers all happy
happier than me
happier to know it

from the looks of it, it’s about all my fault

you can’t stop something that is meant to happen

the last time i told you i was moving on, i swear i meant it

then you held a finger out, like one droplet falls in water

but it sent waves and brought everything back with them

an ocean of pain, love, exhaustion but memories of greatness

now you ask me to choose her, same as you have, as god has

why would i want you to be happy? should i?

does he deserve love, mutual understanding, eternity…

all the things i was once promised?

i believe she should see the ugliness too

can you wish bad upon someone you know nothing of?

i hope her eyes see how his love fails

and she notices he will give up when it’s time to succeed

i wish her to feel alone when he should be chosing her

she should know what it’s like to be second best

i do
i do
i do

i remember those piercing sweet beautiful horrifying ending words

if only there were a way to forget