a soft breeze with a cuddle of cigarette smoke
her voice mimics off the pc i thought i knew
my spitting image left with laughter still licking my brain
distance upon distance i could squish every treetop with my forefinger and thumb
my creativity loves this game and more even if it may be lacking
new york waits for me and my loved one to watch a two becoming a one
and if i told you i was happy, my past would tell you different
and if i said believe me, my eyes would make you doubt
and if i made a promise, you would beg for reassurance
my sincere wish is to explain i am joyfully hopeful and you’ll believe me
there will never be enough to say
naked feet and a brand new haircut sprinkles my cheek
you’ve been working all day with someone loving it
i am proud to be a part of all your lives and close my eyes softly to loosen plastic in any way
it’s all honest when i appreciate the tickle of a loose strand fall against my neck
and if i told you i was happy, my past would tell you different
and if i said believe me, my eyes would make you doubt
and if i made a promise, you would beg for reassurance
my sincere wish is to explain i am joyfully hopeful and you’ll believe me
there will never be enough to say…
but i’ll try and say it anyway

ready for anything and yet nothing seems to be happening
life is about doing something and yet some thing isn’t going on at all
who teaches you the difference between changing your surroundings and when fate does it for you…

the redundant and simple ‘how are you’ has lost all value
they are on the other side of the room to hear your response
no need to imagine an uncaring ear and a soft shoulder that would want to listen to my monosyllabic response of fine, ok, good…
this is our habitual society of answers
but the courtesy is killing me and i can’t wait until someone can just admit that ‘how are you’ has become meaningless
and fine, ok and good are all other ways of saying you couldn’t care less to a question that says i never gave a shit to begin with

seems like i sit here and watch everyone around me accomplish something, some things and every thing
how does this work
where did i miss the memo, the sign-up sheet, the clique i’d be glad to join to feel a sense of fulfillment
my head tells me this isn’t complaining, it’s not feeling sorry for myself, it’s not the lack of trying…
it’s the unbelievable sense of being in the wrong spot but in the right time

this is right but i’m missing a lot and it’s going to ruin the color of yellow roses and the sound of the ocean crashing against brick and the feel of his hands on the back of my neck…

i am who i am
know who i am
respect who i am
it’s not for lack of trying that i’m missing this…

all i know is if it doesn’t correct itself…
if i don’t figure out another way to get to it, i will lose the hope that it exists at all…